no subject

i. I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning

ii. Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady muddlefudger." Can't argue with that one.

iii. Don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I reckon I've grown, don't you?

iv. Remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well APPARENTLY it wasn't an accident

v. She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm gonna go for it.